Preschool Math with Lonely Nerds - Skyebyrd (2024)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

The first time you see John Egbert is at the playground.

Call you old-fashioned, but you really love the playground. It has a lot of really great things for children your brother’s age- not to mention, he got to see people that weren’t just you and the television. The Texas sun is shining, heat baking the asphalt and causing waves to blur your vision, but the grass is cool in the shade and Dirk is currently taking a nap right next to you. A breeze twists the branches above your head, sending a dying leaf twirling down and landing on your shoe.

You capture everything with a single click of your camera.

Being a photographer isn’t exactly the most well-paying job (especially working for a local newspaper), but it gets the bills paid and food in your stomach, so you can’t really complain. Not to mention Dirk gets a huge kick out of being in some of your shots, like that one time when you traveled to the Virginia to get some photos of a surfing tournament going down up in Virginia Beach. Yeah, that trip sucked, but at least you got a semi-vacation out of it.

You hear a dog bark, and swivel your head around to see if you can catch a glimpse of a dog with its owner, and then someone has knocked into you and your camera has tumbled out of your hands and into the grass and you’re suddenly in possession of a lap-full of a little girl.

Uh.

“Oh, Casey, watch where you’re walking, sweetheart!” A voice sounds to your right, and you turn to find the source. There is a man, slightly older than you with dark hair that stick up in cowlicks all over his head and the bluest eyes you have ever seen. And he’s scolding the blue-eyed wonder in your lap. The little girl’s lip is trembling, and her eyes water with tears, and you notice a scrape on her knee. sh*t. She must have caught your belt buckle when she landed. “I’m really sorry about her, sir, she’s still trying to get a hang ofrunning about.” And Mystery-Man has picked up Catherine or whatever her name is and begins to try to calm her down.

Um.

“I-It’s okay.” sh*t, you did not just f*cking stutter. Great. Wonderful job there, Strider, brilliant. “I remember when Dirk was that age. Couldn’t walk straight for the life of him. Kept running into walls, the little rascal.” Your eyes drift to your left, at the little boy sprawled across his “Super-Amazing-Playground-Going-Superhero-Cape” blanket.

“Oh, yeah? Is he yours?” You look back up to Mr. Tall, Dark, and Beautiful, and shake your head slightly.

“Nah, he’s just my little bro. Our parents couldn’t really…well, they…” What the absolute f*ck was this. Why were you opening up to a complete stranger? “They died.” Oh, real smooth cover up, genius. Brilliant. Well, at least they’re dead to you in a metaphorical sense, so it’s not really a lie, right? Right?! “So it’s just me and him right now.”

His face crumbles as he strokes Camille’s hair, shushing her.

“I’m so sorry.” You shrug. “I’ve lost my father, too, and my mother died giving birth to me.” Ah, sh*t, now you felt like the worst person ever. Should you correct yourself? You should probably correct yourself.

“Er, well, what I meant to say was that…they…” Why were you even nervous about this? It wasn’t like you had ever met this dude before. Ever. So what gives, Strider?

“Bro?” A small voice mumbles sleepily to your left, and you turn to Dirk, your attention immediately focused on the little boy.

“Hey, little man, how’s it hangin? Catch some sweet z’s?” You ask as you pick him up gently; he rubs his eyes, still tired. He had run around to his heart’s content, and it had made you tired by just watching him.

“Uh-huh. I fought some robots. It was really cool.” He puffs his chest up proudly, and sticks his fist out for you to bump it; you happily oblige his wishes. The guy chuckles and you hear him kneel down next to you as he sets Catelina down so she can run around. Your brother becomes fascinated with her “really really really cool scar where’d you get it oh wow bro why don’t I have one” and then Cassie ends up pushing Dirk and they run off to play hide-and-seek or tag or something that hopefully won’t stain his clothes too much further.

You pick your camera back up, and brush it off. It was a really sturdy one, and not much damaged it, although the lens was always tricky. You took a few practice shots with it, the shutter going off quickly; the man is in the photos, the backdrop of the clear blue sky and birds crying in the distance adding a lot of depth. He has a gentle smile on his face, not even noticing you taking them.

You briefly wonder if this would be considered creepy. You deem it as a solid “yes” but store that in your brain for later, when you have time to worry about things like that.

“He’s a cute kid. What’d you say his name was again?” He asks you, watching as they chase each other around and around the maypole, their sweet laughter bouncing around the jungle gym and echoing around the swingset.

“Dirk.” You answer, and realize you can’t get his daughter’s (sister’s? niece’s?) name straight in your head. “And hers?”

“Casey.” He answers, his face lighting up with a huge smile and his chest puffs up proudly in a way that isn’t unlike how Dirk did it moments ago. You stifle a chortle at how childlike this man beside you is. “She’s going to be turning three in a few weeks, y’know?” His hands come together in his lap, and he sits criss-cross applesauce. You mentally berate yourself for using that phrase, but with Dirk having entered kindergarten, it’s a bit difficult to not accidentally slip into that lingo.

You turn your attention back to the children, and take notice of Dirk, now. You silently thank God for Roxy being about Casey’s age, or else Dirk would have no idea how to handle the poor girl; he might end up thinking he could play as rough with Casey as he could with Jake, and you really doubt that would make an impression on Mr. Whatshisname.

“Heh. She’s a cute kid.” You smile slightly, watching Dirk show her how to push herself on the swing, by pumping his legs as an example. As you watch them, you remember that holy sh*t she’s only two she can’t be on a swing like that! You jump up and go, the stranger saying “what’s wrong?” like he hadn’t even noticed. Luckily, you get there before she loses her balance and falls off, and you tell Dirk that “little kids can’t do big kid things, you know that” and he looks down, ashamed. You set Casey on the ground, and the man comes up behind you.

“Oh, man, thanks for that! I don’t know what I was thinking…I should have been keeping a better eye on her. Thank you.” His cheeks are blushing bright red at his mishap, and you shrug your shoulders again, not saying anything. Casey demands to swing, however, so he tucks her into the child’s swing, and her legs barely stick out enough for her to pump them; as such, the man has to push her, although his smile widens when she demands for him to “push, push!”

You admit, it’s really f*cking adorable.

“Hey, Bro?” Dirk asks you, tugging on the hem of your shirt to gain your attention.

“What’s up, man?” You bend down to get eye level with him.

He glances around and then stands on his tiptoes, reaching around to whisper in your ear.

“I know you said feelings are for wimps,” God, you didn’t think he actually bought that sh*t, “but can me and Casey be friends? She’s cool and likes explosions and robots!”

“Oh, really? Robots and explosions? Sounds like quite the catch, lil’ guy.” You resist a chuckle as he nods over and over as he talks about how “super duper amazing” Casey is.

Apparently the guy overhears your (not so quiet) conversation, as he offers to form a playdate. Nothing too special. Just meeting up at this same park again. You nod, fishing your phone out as he asks to exchange contact information, in case one has to cancel, or…something.

You really wish your older sister hadn't made your background into something so…salacious.

But the stranger doesn't even bat an eye at it; you hear him clacking away at the buttons on your phone as you enter your information into his iPhone. sh*t, you wish you have a phone this nice. Yours still is a flip phone, and texting on it is a complete bitch, but at least it does what it is needed to do.

You quickly hit save, and then double check to make sure you've entered everything correctly. You hand him back his phone once he’s done the same, and he smiles at you.

“It was a pleasure to meet you, Mr…” He pauses, only just now realizing he never learned your name.

“Dave Strider. But, just Dave. The mister part creeps me out.” He nods at you, and smiles brightly, bending down to pick up a yawning Casey.

“Well, Dave. It was awesome to meet you! See you next week!” And with that, he leaves.

You open your phone, and scroll through your contacts, looking for the one name you don’t recognize. You find it after a bit of scrolling, but you know it’s his immediately. It fits him so well, you think, before remembering you barely even know the guy.

John Egbert.

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Chapter Text

The shutter quickly closes, over and over and over, clicking and clacking, the sound reverberating around the room as you move to get as many shots as you can. Your model doesn’t seem to understand that she has to actually f*cking pause between poses, or maybe you just aren’t used to taking pictures of actual people that were right there- either way, this job is really irritating, and you really regret agreeing to it. You much preferred distances between you and your subjects; as you stood on the ground as they dove* from a high dive, as you watched from a helicopter as they twisted and turned in the air and opening their parachute, as you clung to a tree and snapped shots of birds fluttering in the air.

Okay, so maybe you hadn’t actually done any of that, but you’re three thousand percent sure those jobs would be better than running around a half-naked lady in a dimly lit room as she tried to look sexy wearing Uggs. Which is physically impossible. And slightly disturbing. Not to mention terribly tacky.

You aren’t the only photographer there that day, and you certainly aren’t the lead photographer, who is standing there and clicking away much like you, except he’s giving directions and being all around rude.

“No, sweetie, you want to look sexy, not a trashy hooker!”

“Stick your chest out more- purse your lips- yes, just like that!”

“Spread your legs more, prop the left one up on the chair. Okay, now stick your chest out a taaad more; make me want to buy this!”

Frankly, it makes you sick to your stomach, but a job’s a job. A little-known magazine had seen some of your photos in the local paper, and asked you to do this for them, and you had quickly agreed; Dirk was going to be starting school soon, and money always got a bit too tight for comfort, as lists of school supplies and new clothes and new shoes rolled in from the mailbox. What kind of public school has a dress code anyway? Stupid.

As the lunch bell rings, you go to where you had thrown your jacket and gently laid down your camera bag; you sit down as you wrench your poorly made peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of your jacket pocket and bite into it as you check your phone. You have five new messages.

EB: hey dave
EB: this is you, right?
EB: if it isn’t then is is really awkward
EB: oh yeah this is john egbert
EB: you know, from the park?

You chuckle slightly to yourself, and type out your reply.

TG:: yeah man this is dave
TG: im at work right now
TG: and you do know that you put your number into my contacts list so your name shows up whenever you message me
TG: thats how phones work oh wow look at that
EB: shut up dave
EB: what kind of work do you do?
TG: im a prostitute
TG: so if you dont mind i have to go blow someone right now
EB: gross dude
EB: but for real
EB: where do you work?
TG: i am currently photographing an almost naked woman wearing the most godawful pair of shoes on this planet
TG: i mean seriously what the f*ck kind of idiot came up with these sh*tty things and thought they were okay
EB: what are they, crocs?
TG: worse
EB: oh god
TG: i darent speak their name for fear of being smited by God himself
TG: and im not exactly in the mood to get blasted off the face of the earth thank you very much
EB: oh sure whatever wise guy
TG: so what are you up to right now
EB: school

Well, you certainly hadn’t been expecting that. He was older than you and had a three year old kid. How did he have time for school? The only reason you had time for a job was because you dragged Dirk to almost all of the sites you went to, or you got your sister Rose to watch him for you; he always got a kick out of playing with Roxy anyways. She kind of resented you for handing him off as much as you did, but Kanaya absolutely loved Dirk, so all’s well that ends well, you suppose.

But, this guy has your curiosity piqued.

TG: oh yeah
TG: what do you study
EB: oh nothing really, this and that
EB: mainly biology though! its really cool and fun i love it a lot
EB: especially when we learn about dna and stuff!

Your eyebrows are raised. You certainly hadn’t taken this guy for a scientist; a total dork, sure, maybe studying something really stupid like cinema appreciation, but not science.

TG: no sh*t

And he didn’t reply.

Wow, awkward.

The bell signaled the lunch break was over, and you uncapped your camera and set off again, your mind wondering what you said that sent him away.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
You put your car into park and hop out, turning to walk up the driveway to your sister Rose’s home. It’s not all that ornate; in fact, you’re positive it reeks of ordinary. A white picket fence surrounds an immaculate lawn, complete with a perfect flowerbed and an herb garden to boot. A cat lounges on the porch swing, tail swinging back and forth, purring along to the waves of heat coming up from the wood of the porch.

You knock on the door to Rose’s house, and Kanaya, Rose’s girlfriend, opens it. She smiles gently at you, nodding in a greeting, and then walks away, expecting you to follow her. She was a quiet person, for the most part, and neither of you conversed with the other much; you’re pretty sure the only times you’ve had a regular chat was when you drop off Dirk for her to watch.

You follow her along the long hallway, and while she continues on into the kitchen at the far end, you turn to the right at the third door, and open it, hoping Dirk was in the playroom so you wouldn’t have to scour the rest of the house for him.

“Bro!” Dirk’s face lights up in a smile as he jumps up from a coloring book and barrels toward you, wrapping himself around your knees and laughing. You chuckle and ruffle his hair, thankful he was in here. The walls were a light pastel pink, for Roxy, Rose and Kanaya’s daughter. Well. She was Rose’s and some sperm doner’s daughter, if you want to get really technical, but for all intents and purposes, she was their daughter.

“Hey, little man. What have you been up to today?”

He grabs your hand and pulls you over to the center of the playroom, where Roxy currently resides, dumping all sorts of colored water from her “science kit” all over the floor. Thank God for hardwood.

“We colored all sorts of things, Bro, look! And Roxy didn’t like the paper a whole lot so she drew on the floor but Aunty Rose got kinda mad so she gave Roxy the science stuff, but…” Dirk looks over at Roxy before motioning for you to move closer. You put your ear right next to his mouth, and he tries to whisper but fails horribly. “I don’t think it’s real science stuff! I saw Ms. Kan putting water into bottles and then color stuff into it! But I didn’t want to tell Roxy. I think it’d make her real sad, Bro, so you can’t tell her, okay? Like a secret!” He looks at you, full of energy, like this is the kind of secret that would get a country blown up, and you nod stoically, and salute him to boot.

“Ay ay, captain, my lips shall remain sealed for the remainder of my days. Cross my heart.” And you do.

He still looks skeptic.

“Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.”

Your pinkies intertwine, and Roxy finally looks up from where she is swirling the different liquids together, staining her hands. Yeah, definitely food coloring. Dirk runs back over to his coloring book as you go over to Roxy to inspect her little science project.

“Hey, Uncle Davey, look what I made!” She splashes her hands as she tries to show you her creation, and a pink droplet hits her nose; she crosses her eyes to try and look at it, and then scrubs it to remove the water.

“Wow, that’s some pretty awesome science you got going on there, kid. Think it can blow up a town?” The colors have all swirled together by this point and now it looks like some really gross water, like from out of a swamp or something, but she seems to be having fun.

“No! A whole city!!! Or, maybe one of those big cities with a whole bunch of cities inside of them?”

“You mean a state?”

“Yeah!!!”

Well, this kid sure has her sights set high.

“Sure, Rox, I’m so positive it can blow up a whole state. Just be careful not to set it off while me and Dirk aren’t here to watch it, okay?” You stand up to go, and Roxy turns to you, tearful.

“But we only got to play for, like, five seconds, Uncle Davey!”

“Yeah, more like five hours, Roxy. Come on, you know it’s time for Dirk’s nap, and we gotta get home so you can take yours.” She pouts at your words, and you pick Dirk up from behind, throwing him up into the air a bit and then turning him in your arms so you can rest him on your hip. You are the coolest parent. It is you.

Dirk giggles at your actions, clapping and saying “again! again!” but you can’t. If he gets too excited he’ll never lay down for his nap and then where would you be?

“Sorry, kid, we gotta go. Come on.” Dirk’s face crumbles and he tries to wrestle himself out of your arms.

“No, no, I wanna stay and play with Roxy some more! Meenah’s coming over later, can’t I just stay for a little bit? Pleeeaaasseee?” Damnit, kid, don’t turn on the- he turns on the waterworks, and your heart tugs.

“Dude, you know the rules. You gotta go take a nap soon; how about we hang out with Meenah and Feferi tomorrow, huh? Sound good?” You try to compromise, and Dirk nods at you slowly, pouting and fists rubbing at his eyes. You make a mental note to call Fefer and actually ask her to bring Meenah over tomorrow.

Your phone piddles as you hop into the driver’s seat, Dirk safely buckled into his car seat.

EB: sorry about that, i was picking casey up from my cousin’s house
TG: its cool i was picking dirk up from my sisters house
EB: wow we lead the most interesting lives, don’t we?
TG: livin life to the fullest
TG: i gotta drive though so peace

You stick the car into drive, and pull out of your parking space. On the way to your apartment, it starts pouring rain out of nowhere, and you sigh deeply, looking in the rearview mirror. You smile gently; Dirk was fast asleep, and clutching his stuffed robot toy close to his chest.

You turn your attention back to the road again, wondering why on earth your parents could have abandoned that cute little rascal behind you. Or you, for that matter. But you don’t really like to think about that, so you stop and focus on the road again. You just want to get home and tuck him into his bed, and make him his favorite food for dinner every night, and watch sh*tty movies and read him some really dumb and cliché children’s book so he can get to bed.

You’d do anything for Dirk. He is your entire life. He gives you meaning, and purpose, and a goal in life.

Your phone chimes again, and your heart stutters as you think about who it could be. It briefly crosses your mind that maybe, just maybe, Dirk wasn’t the only one in your life anymore.

Chapter 3

Chapter Text

The Saturday playdate doesn’t go exactly as you had planned. Like. At f*cking all.

EB: dude, where are you? i’m by the tree where casey fell on you
EB: you know, the one we met at?
EB: seriously, man, are you gonna answer
EB: if you stood up our children’s first date i’ll do something drastic i promise
EB: there may or may not be water and your camera involved in this debacle
TG: jesus christ egbert i didnt think you wanted to meet before the sun was up
TG: chill the f*ck out would you
TG: i just woke up allow me to focus myself
TG: this kind of beauty isnt easy to achieve you know
EB: yeah yeah whatever dave but why are you only just now waking up?
EB: caseys getting really worried about
EB: uh
EB: whats your brother’s name again?
TG: dirk
TG: and like i said i didnt think youd want to meet before a goddamn decent hour
TG: aka after noon
TG: not nine i mean dear God egbert
EB: oh, sorry!
EB: i thought you said you worked at one though?
EB: like on saturdays?
EB: i mean that’s why i came here so early!
TG: yeah one in the morning idiot
EB: oh
TG: yeah

There is a few minutes of blessed silence as you raise yourself out of bed, rubbing your eyes. Six hours of sleep was okay, you guess, but it sure as hell isn’t what you’re used to after a night of DJing. You only DJed on Fridays, when Rose and Kanaya could watch Dirk, as they had some stupid ass family bonding time on Saturdays where Rose took Kanaya shopping and then they took Roxy out to the children’s museum so she could play with their “science lab”. You had gone with them a few times, and Dirk had loved playing with Roxy and touching every single goddamned button in existence, but damn, that place was expensive. Maybe that’s why you DJ on the weekends, you ponder.

You don’t get to spoil Dirk very often.

EB: so should i go home and come back later, or…?
TG: nah, i just gotta get decent and go pick dirk up from my sisters
TG: she watches him on fridays because i cant exactly leave him at home for all hours
EB: oh, okay! cool!
EB: uh, about how long should i wait, though?
EB: me and casey brought lunch along, and she was just wondering how long you guys will be, because shes a bit hungry
TG: an hour?
TG: maybe?
EB: sounds good
EB: see you then!
TG: yeah later

You look at yourself in the mirror, an odd feeling of inadequacy tearing shivers down your skin. Your hand slowly moves upward towards your hair, fingers trembling at your bangs, moving them this way and that, and you pray they settle in a semi-decent way. You vaguely wish you had something to get rid of the plethora of freckles staining your face and neck and shoulders, but you don’t. You doubt if there’s even a thing that could do that. You check your teeth, turning your face left and right, looking at impurities and just wow you look really gross, so you splash your face with water.

Yeah, that doesn’t do jack sh*t.

You give up after a few minutes, resignation seeping in, and yank some clothes on, fidgeting with loose strings and poor fitting on your way out the door, not forgetting to grab the aviators that lay on the table by the entrance to your (and Dirk’s) apartment.

The sky outside is clear, minus a few seemingly-harmless white clouds, and a breeze twists the trees that line the usually-busy street. A few leaves scatter the sidewalk, signaling the end of summer, and your converse scuff against ant hills. You amuse yourself for a few moments, imagining screams of terror coming from the ants as you wreak destruction and chaos upon their home, but for some reason it just isn’t as funny without a little brother to do the impersonation with.

You pull your phone out as you get into your car, half a block away, because some dumbass had parked in your spot the night before. Inconsiderate asshole.

TG: hey rose im on my way to pick dirk up
TT: Oh? This is awfully early for you, did something come up?
TG: yeah my bros got a hot date with a little three year old at the park didnt you hear
TG: hes been jabbing my ear off the past week about her
TG: robots AND explosions bro!!! best girl ever!! wow!!!!!
TT: Ah, yes, he has mentioned her before. He seems to be awfully infatuated; it’s quite adorable, I assure you, neither Kanaya nor Jade will shut up about it.
TG: how does jade know about this is she here
TG: why wasnt I informed of this
TG: do you know how long its been since ive seen little miss island
TT: I’m afraid it didn’t come up. Terribly sorry.
TT: It does seem, however, she is here visiting family. Her cousin, to be precise. I wasn’t aware that she had one, but they seem to be quite close, according to her ramblings.
TG: because the world needs more harleys yes clearly
TT: Oh, don’t be such a spoil-sport and be happy for her.
TG: yeah yeah now for real i gotta drive dont tempt me with your psychological bullsh*t will you
TT: Of course. Why would I ever do that, brother dear?
TG: f*ck off

The drive doesn’t take very long; if you had to guess, you’d say ten minutes. The traffic at this hour is practically non-existent, which you weren’t expecting, only ever waking up when everyone else decides to get out of their house and do sh*t. You remind yourself to text John to tell him you’ll be there earlier than you thought you’d be.

When you knock on the door, you don’t hear anybody move inside for about a minute, but then you hear an excited pattering of feet, and the door opening quickly, knocking a little boy that wasn’t your brother in the face. The child laughs it off, however.

“Hey, Jake, long time no see, dude.”

He laughs loudly, and, yeah, this kid is still f*cking obnoxious as hell. His dark skin and dark hair and huge glasses are a giveaway, of course, but that f*cking laugh is unforgettable.

“Hiya, Mr. Strider! Mommy told me to get the door because she thought it would be a really great surprise because she ran outside and now she’s-”

Oh f*ck you are pretty sure you know what’s coming and

“DAVE!!!”

Yeah, there is now an insane woman tackling you from behind, cackling, her hair waving in the light breeze. Her arms wrap around your front, squeezing you to her as she climbs up onto you, as if she were as small as her kid and you could give her a piggy back ride. Which, suffice to say, you can’t.

“Hi, Jade.” You grunt out, your breath being diminished due to, oh jeez, you don’t know, the WOMAN CRUSHING YOUR LUNGS.

“Oh, sorry about that! But dude wasn’t that just so awesome! Great teamwork, Jake!” The two high-five, and you rub your chest, trying to get air into your lungs again.

Jade yanks you inside, following the familiar pale blue walls to the playroom, where Jake quickly goes back to playing “let’s see how big of a mess we can make with this play-doh!” with Dirk and Roxy. You silently thank whatever God is out there that you don’t have to watch all of these damn kids at once, and you pray you never do. At least until they’re older, and know that sticking clay into the cracks of the hard-wood floor is a Very Bad Thing To Do. But the smiles on all of their faces make one appear on yours, and you can’t help it. God, kids are cute.

“So how long are you and Tavros in town?” Jade and her husband had been gone for, God, seven months now? You were actually surprised Dirk still remembered Jake, but hey, best friends stick together, as the two boys have reminded you and Jade since they met about a year ago.

“Well, Tavros recently signed on somebody, and the magazine doesn’t need me for a while, so I was thinking we could stay for the year. At least until Jake gets out of school, anyway. I think he would like staying in one place this year, don’t you?”

You know it’s a rhetorical question, so you don’t bother with an answer.

“Sounds rockin, Miss Harley.”

“How’s Dirk been holding up without his ‘best bro’?” She uses air quotes around the term, and chuckle sliding out of her mouth, and damn, you’ve missed this girl.

“Pretty good, actually. He made a little girlfriend last Saturday, and we’re going to meet her and her father at the park today, which is why I’m here so early.”

“Oh, yeah, Rose told me about that! She sounds sweet, from what Dirk’s been telling everybody about her. A real darling.”

“Yeah, I guess. He played with her for like, five minutes, though, so who knows what’s gonna happen today. He could decide she’s the worst playmate ever and we have to abscond the fff-heck outta there, but he could also decide to marry her on the spot. So.”

Jade laughs again, and asks who it is.

“Casey something. Uh…Egbert. Casey Egbert.”

Jade’s mouth drops, and you wonder what you had said.

“Uh, Jade? Earth to Jade, come in Jade.”

“Her dad isn’t John Egbert, is he?”

Your eyebrows come together.

“Yeah, it is, you know him?”

And then she f*cking squeals“That’s my cousin! Oh, man, we gotta all hang out today!!! You said you were meeting him at the park, right? Oh, this is going to be the biggest surprise!” Jade excitedly goes about the room, picking up miscellaneous objects that you assume belong to Jake, and oh God, she better not humming It’s A Small World After All, and oh, sh*t, she so was, dear Lord, that’s going to be stuck in your head all day now.

Not that that thought hadn’t flown across your mind, but still. There is absolutely no need for that song in any situation. Ever.

“Hey, mommy, where’re we going? Are we going on another adventure?!” Jake toddles along behind Jade, picking up things she missed (including a few objects that belong to Roxy, which you had to get from him and place back on the floor) and bouncing excitedly.

“Yes! We’re going with Dirk to go see Casey and your uncle John.” Jade’s smile is huge, and you envy Tavros right then. Well. You would. If you were, you know, into chicks.“Really?!” He jumps up, dropping everything in his arms, and you and Jade have to go through the room again, and make sure it was all collected.

“Yes, really, now he’s already there, and” you check your clock, and oh sh*t “I told him I’d meet him in, like, five minutes, so can we go please?”

Right as you say so, you feel your phone vibrate in your back pocket.

EB: hey casey has to go to the bathroom so thats where we went if you get here and cant find us
TG: okay im just leaving my sisters house now so im going to be a bit later than i thought id be
EB: oh, okay
EB: how long?
EB: oh god i sound like a nagging housewife sorry
TG: nah its cool man
TG: it shouldnt take too much longer like ten minutes if traffic doesnt randomly decide to co*ckblock us
TG: wait no that came out wrong
EB: hehe :B
TG: stop doing that its creep as hell
EB: whatever!
EB: just hurry up please!
TG: yeah yeah were hurrying

“Harley, your cousin's flippin his Kool-Aid, we should skedaddle before he leaves.”

Jade giggles at your terminology, but holds up her full bag, and picks Jake up, resting him on her hip. God, sometimes you wish you had girl hips. It would make holding Dirk like that about three thousand times easier. Nonetheless, you pick Dirk up, not trusting his short legs to carry him fast enough when you’re in a hurry like this. He wriggles a bit, disdain over being carried written in his face (“Bro, I’m five, I can walk real fast all by myself!” “Yeah well not fast enough short stack.” “Hey!”), but you get them both in Jade’s car, after a bit of wrestling with Dirk’s car seat.

The drive is quick, as Jade regales you with tales of India and Bangladesh, Jake voicing his opinion now and again, and Dirk constantly interrupting with question after question, all of which the Harley-English crew is more than happy to answer. From bathing in questionably-sanitary rivers, to meditating with monks, to visiting the Taj Mahal, this group had done it all. From what she describes to you, India is a beautiful place, and she tells you all of the secrets of the country; well, not political secrets, as she doesn’t care for politics, but things to do with geography and religion.

“One time, we got so lost out near Salem, which is, uh, kiiinda close to Pondecherry, I guess” like you had any idea where the f*ck Pondecherry was “and we just happened upon this really old temple! It was so beautiful, Dave, just wow. There was this little girl that was herding goats through it, and there was a ceremony going on, right next to a fallen statue! It was kinda dim in there, but it was so serene, and the paintings on the wall were so amazing and detailed. It was just…peaceful.”

You see her face relax into a small smile as she slips into memories, and you wish you had gone with her. Not that she had ever invited you, and it isn’t like you can afford to go all over the world for no reason (even if Jade had gone for work), but still. It sounds amazing.

You tell her so, and she brightens, and launches into another story where Tavros had gotten his wheelchair stuck in the mud when he was out getting groceries, and nobody could understand him he was stuttering so badly.

When you arrive, you pull out your phone.

TG: were here
EB: finally!!!!!!!!
EB: we’re by the tree
TG: gotcha be there in a few

Dirk scrabbles out of the vehicle the second you unbuckle him, and goes tearing off for the tree after you tell him where they’re waiting; Jake is quick to follow, and you and Jade fall behind.

Needless to say, John is all sorts of confused when he sees the two of you together, but he goes with it.

“Hey, Dave! Hey Jade!” He offers you both a bright smile as he pats the blanket underneath him, signaling you to sit down. His grin turns sheepish, however, after a moment.

“Me and Casey weren’t expecting anybody but Dave and Dirk to come, so there isn’t anything for you or Jake, sorry, Jade.”

Jade only shakes her head a bit, and motions to her bag. “Don’t worry, I always have something just in case!” John sighs in relief, and wow, yeah, these guys are definitely related if they show that much emotion over a f*cking meal.

“So how on earth do you two even know each other?” John asks after a few awkward moments of silence (for you, anyway). You both go to answer at the same time, but Jade just laughs it off, and motions for you to speak.

“We went to high school together, and we worked for the same magazine for a while, until they fired me (“Dave, you quit” “Shut it Harley this sounds more traumatic”) and I started working for the paper. We tag-teamed on projects for a while; I’d take the pictures, and she’d write the article.” You shrug when you finish, not in the mood for elaboration.

“And you guys kept in touch?” John looks to Jade for this question, eyes wide with wonder, so you get the message. You wonder if John knew a different Jade, because if he really knew her, he’d know that she never left her friends behind. She had been alone for way too damn long to do that kind of sh*t.

“Yeah, we did! He’s a pretty cool kid.” She nudges you with her elbow, and you roll your eyes, despite the effect being lost due to your sunglasses. John chuckles, a “so I’ve noticed” slipping out under his breath, and your cheeks warm slightly.

“So why do you study biology, Mr. Nosy?” You poke, and he grins, having been caught.

“I don’t know. Why do you do photography?” You shrug. “Exactly. It’s just something that I love to do! And so I’m in college to become a biologist, although I still don’t know what I want to be specifically. Marine biology is really interesting, but I don’t really like getting wet, but then there’s- oh, no, Casey, stop hitting is bad!” John jumps up, yelling across the park to his daughter, who’s currently squabbling with “Jake, I told you not to pick on girls, stop!” and there goes Jade. Well, if those two are fighting, it was probably Dirk’s fault, so you get up and follow.

“He was my friend, first, so you can’t have him!”

“No!”

“Yes!”

“No!”

“Casey, Jake, what are you fighting about, oh, please stop fighting” they babble away at the quarreling kids, next to the swingset, and Jake’s crying something awful and Casey’s screeching “no!!!” over and over and just

Dear Lord, this was a mess. Did they not know how to take care of their kids or something?

“Hey!!!” You yell, and that gets their attention. Even John and Jade’s and a few other parents nearby, which makes you slightly nervous because oh God people are watching. But anyway.

“What is the problem?” You’re looking at Dirk when you ask, but Jake quickly answers.

“Mr. Strider, I hate to tell you this, but Dirk already said he’d marry me!!! But Casey said that they would be married but Dirk can’t marry both of us so he has to marry me!”

You look down at Jake, and see his determined expression. Your eyebrows raise.

Well. That was.

You and John and Jade make eye contact, and you have the first good laugh you’ve had in years.

Jade has a small talk with Jake about learning to share, while John tells Casey she’s too young to marry. Dirk’s hand finds yours, his face looking like someone smashed into it with a hammer, so you kneel down to look him in the eye. His orange irises latch onto your red ones; even through the shades, he knows where your eyes are. He’s you little brother, what are you gonna do, hide them from him? Yeah, f*ck that sh*t man.

“You understand what happened here, dude?”

A small nod.

“Then nothing’s wrong, okay? Don’t look so upset. No one’s mad at you.” You speak quietly, moving your other hand to his shoulder. His eyebrows scrunch together with worry.“You promise?” f*ck, his voice shouldn’t sound that little. Fighting has always scared him. You think some of it might be because of how your parents used to be, but you know that isn’t true; he wasn’t even a year old when they decided to leave.

“I promise. You’re okay. We’re all okay.”

He still looks a bit skeptical, but he nods again, and they all go back to playing, although you notice Jake being extra-nice to Casey; you suspect it has something to do with Jade trying to teach him to be a “proper gentleman” lately, but who knows.

“Well that was quite the debacle!” Jade chuckles. “Who knew kids thought about these things, huh?”

You smirk, and John’s constant-smile grows.

You all return to the blanket under the tree, and John gives you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as Jade pulls out an apple from her bag, and whoa, this was an amazing sandwich. Why is this sandwich so good holy sh*t it’s like you haven’t eaten in weeks?

The rest of the day goes by smoothly, with no more shenanigans and no scrapes or horribly falls; no children were harmed in the making of this movie, no siree.

And when you agree to meet John again the next week, your heart swells with anticipation. In your opinion, the week can’t go by fast enough.

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

Your name is John Egbert, and, wow, it sure is a lot different than being Dave Strider, that’s for sure!

For one, the child you look after isn’t fully your flesh and blood. Half of her flesh and blood comes from someone else, who shall preferably remain unnamed until further notice; speaking and thinking about her brings all sorts of terrible emotions to sit tight inside your chest, buckling in and laughing cruelly at your tears.

But you’re digressing. Best to resume pace of the conversation’s original point, hm?

Yes, so, Dave Strider. Wow. Just. Holy f*cking sh*t that guy is probably God’s way of blessing you and your daughter. Moving to Texas was a risky choice, you know, but you just…couldn’t anymore. Your father’s death was just about the most horrific thing to happen, and that, coupled with the other events going on at the time that, like Casey’s mother’s name (or, rather, to do especially with Casey’s mother’s name), you shall keep from the public’s mind for the time being, caused you to be so f*cking fed up with everyone’s bullsh*t in Washington, that you just. Left.

Just packed up what you owned, grabbed Casey, and drove the car all the way until you couldn’t anymore. Middle of Nowhere, Texas, to be precise. You had gotten accepted to a college nearby the previous year, and when you explained the situation to one of the counselors (and paid for the semester in full), you had enrolled and started classes. You had gotten an apartment, a relatively nice one close to a little school (you weren’t too emotionally unstable to stop thinking of your daughter; she needed you in that time more than ever, being ripped from her sister was—no, no, sh*t sh*t sh*t, don’t even go down that road, Egbert). You take a deep breath, and exhale.

Calm. Calm is important.

Calm helped you, supported you and your daughter, supported your sister; it got you through each and every day.

Until Dave Motherf*cking Strider.

You really should learn how to stop rambling and stick with what you were going to say, but hey! At least it got you back to the main point, right? Yeah, okay, you’re carrying on now, be quiet.

But when you met Dave, your little girl running and you laughing and then her tripping and tumbling into that beautiful and handsome stranger’s lap, his mouth dropping into an ‘o’ of surprise…you knew you were f*cked. His white white hair and his white white teeth and his white white skin shone and reflected and his freckles dotted his face like stars. His sunglasses had only barely slipped down his face so you couldn’t see his irises, but you could tell his eyes were wide.

You had laughed the situation off, and figured he was merely a photographer there for the sake of photography, but then Dirk had woken up and damn that kid was cute. He and Casey had immediately hit it off, in the way that children do, and while you love Casey to death (oh, God, how you do, you need her, she is your only link to her anymore and even though you don’t want to admit that it’s all you can think about) you had never been more grateful to her than right then. She had given you the perfect excuse to strike up a conversation with that beautiful, beautiful stranger.

His name still drives sparks along your tongue, sizzling down your throat and singeing your stomach, boiling and churning with nerves. He is like medicine to your frazzled psyche, keeping you stable and solid.

Casey had been doing her best, but now she could be a child again. She didn’t have to worry if her father would scream out for her during the night, she didn’t have to try to calm you down from night terrors, not understanding why you wouldn’t just be quiet daddy it’s okay i love you daddy I love you please don’t be sad and God, you don’t think you’ll ever repay the debt you are now in to Dave.

He probably has no clue what he has done for you.

Heh, “probably”. No, one-hundred percent chance he has no idea. You had never shared anything with him, besides your father’s death, and especially not who Casey’s mother was. You hadn’t even told him about Jade, and were consequently very surprised when he already knew her. It’s just as well, you suppose. Now all three (possibly four, if Rose and Kanaya could ever get the time to join you) children could play together at the park, laughing and giggling away, going on adventures and saving the world every Saturday.

You look out to the monkey bars, today’s stage for the children’s grand shows. Shouts of “man the cannon, Casey!” and “I can’t man anything, I’m a girl!” echoed over to you, and your face relaxes into a smile. Dave and Dirk are currently chasing some birds—well, more along the lines of Dirk chasing them and running away when they flew, his smile large, and then Dave clicking away on his camera, capturing moment after moment. You wonder how he can take pictures with those shades on, how he knows how to get the lighting right and whatever else is involved in photography, but if he works for a magazine (or was it a newspaper? You’ll have to ask him again) then he must be good at what he does.

Jade nudges your side with her elbow, and while it smarts a bit, you turn back with a smile. She does some really ridiculous thing with her eyebrows, and you laugh at her. “What?” You manage.

“Looks like someone’s got googly eyes for a certain photographer.” And oh jeez you really hope you face isn’t as red as it feels.

“W-what?” How eloquent, Egbert. Real f*cking smooth. “I was just zoning, Jade, you should know all about that.”

“Oh, please, John, you totally have a really dopey smile and your eyes got all gooey and everything. You’ve got a crush. A really gay, hom*oerotic crush on the Strides.”

“You did not just call him ‘the Strides’, Jade. That’s lame, even by your standards.”

“No, it wasn’t, and my standards are very high, thank you!” She flicks your ear. You scowl at her. “And stop going away from the point here. Come on, go for it! Ask him out!”

“No.”

“So you don’t deny it?” sh*t, back up back up back up.

“It was a general ‘no’ to the entire idea of liking him and being with him, Jade. Get with it.” Oh Christ you did not just say that. What are you, in seventh grade?

“You’re a very negative person today, John.” She sticks her tongue out at you. Well, at least you weren’t the only juvenile here. Minus the kids, of course.

“Maybe I am.” You turn your gaze to Casey and Jake, two very high-esteemed pirates off the Spanish main, looking for doubloons and maps. A few children have joined them; faceless children with faceless parents, and you smile once more. Casey deserves this. Deserves to be this happy. You hear Jake shout out for Dirk’s assistance in the matter of a few scallywags who need to go in the brig and weren’t listening, gosh, Dirk, come on, you’re so slow!

Dave plops down next to you, far too close to be normal. Or maybe you just aren’t used to normal people and you and Jade were the odd ones, always sitting far away from each other. Or maybe she is trying to give you space? Didn’t you used to sit a lot closer to each other, laughing, playing those childish hand games like rock-paper-scissors, her hair wreathed with flowers as she waited beside you as your Best Man because you couldn’t think of anyone else to fill the role and.

“Dude, Earth to Egbert. Come on, Egbert.”

Oh.

“Sorry, I’ve been really out of it today.” You blink in to see Dave’s fingers snapping you to attention, and your sight frames in on his shades, and, sh*t, your reflection really does look love struck when you look at Dave, huh? You fix your expression, and quietly hope he took it as a look of not-quite-there, and leaves it at that.

“Yeah, we’ve noticed.” Dave glances behind you to Jade, and they share a chuckle, and you wonder if they spoke while you weren’t paying attention. You wouldn’t put it past your brain to be so far gone as to miss that. “So, how did that job interview pan out?”

“Job inter-oh! The job interview! Yeah, that turned out great! I start on Tuesday, and they aren’t giving me the day shift, thank God, ‘cuz I have school, obviously. Although doing both school and work will suck, I think I can manage it. Oh, sh*t, hey, Jade, do you think you could watch Casey when I work?”

Jade’s face turns down.

“Man, I’m sorry, John. I started a night job so we can keep the bills paid while Tavros looks for a more stable job, or until the magazine needs me again! And Tavros is so tired at the end of the day, I don’t want to ask him to watch both Jake and Casey, y’know? I wish I could, though!” She shakes her head at you, and you frown. Well, now what?

“I could watch her for you. It wouldn’t be a problem. Casey’s practically attached at Dirk’s hip, anyways, so it’s not like she’ll be hella bored.” Dave takes a nonchalant sip of his water and doesn’t turn to you. Your face reddens slightly.

“Uh, thanks Dave! How much should I pay you?” You refuse to let him do this for free. Nope, no way in hell.

“I’ll do it for free, no prob.”

sh*t.

“No. You’re watching my daughter all night, I have to pay you something.” You quickly do some calculations in your head. Wow, who are you kidding, you have no idea what to pay someone for doing something like this. “What do Rose and Kanaya charge you to watch Dirk during the day?”

“She’s my sister. She does it for free.”

Dammit!

“Come on, Dave, I refuse to let you do this for free!” That sounded a lot less whiny in your head.

He finally looks at you.

“You could bring me and the kids’ breakfast every morning? Seriously, Jade feeds her dinner, so all I’d need to do would be to put her down for bed after giving her a bath and getting her in some pjs. Presumably, said objects would be her own, and it’s not like Dirk’s room isn’t big enough for the both of them. It wouldn’t be a problem.”

You have a suspicion this decision is going to be your downfall. You can feel yourself slipping down into whatever web he’s spinning, just like she had done so long ago, but you know you’re going to say yes. Just like with her.

You smile, say “deal” and give his hand a firm shake of agreement.

Jane crosses your mind. You wonder how she would react to her father letting a stranger watch her sister so easily, but you hope this will work out better for Casey than it did for your first daughter.

You should really visit her grave soon, you think.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text

Being Dave Strider again is slightly disconcerting, but hey, you were only John Egbert one time and you just don’t like to talk about it. Really f*ckin’ weird experience. But in other news, you are now in charge of, not only your own kid (brother), but the littlest Egbert, Casey. A huge bundle of energy wrapped up carefully, and stuffed into the guise of a little girl with blonde hair and shining blue eyes. She has a loud laugh and claps her hands when she gets excited, something you’re noticing is a habit she has picked up from her father. It’s endearing, how similar they are.

But sometimes, you wonder just who her mother was. John’s hair is dark as obsidian, and his skin a dark tan, but Casey was all blonde and fair skin. Every time she ran into a wall, she would bruise deeply, and you fretted over it like a mother hen, wondering if she was okay, because, holy sh*t, this isn’t your kid you can’t just keep letting her get hurt like that! But she and Dirk would always continue playing whatever it was they had been playing, getting each other more and more riled up until it was nearly impossible to get the two of them in the bath. The hot water would pinken her skin, acting in the same way as yours and Dirk’s skin does when it comes in contact with heat. You’re usually not a very nosey guy (that was more of Rose’s territory), and you know from Jade that John has some emotional baggage that you shouldn’t prod around in just yet, but you’re still so damn curious about him.

How on earth does a guy have a child at the tender age of twenty-five?

You know the usual way, of course: get a girl pregnant in high school and marry her so you can be a real family instead of winding up on a stupid television show like Teen Moms or something. But that doesn’t explain why he’s alone, and not going home to a loving wife and child in the suburbs. Maybe she left him? Holy sh*t if that is true then she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. How could anybody leave John, with his smile so wide it crinkles his bright eyes, and laughter that makes his whole upper body move, and a quick wit that kept even you on your toes.

A heart full of love for his daughter and family, you add in. That is the main thing you admire, you think.

Water is splashed into your face and soaking your shirt, and yeah, that’s the last time you zone out around these two kids together.

Getting Casey to bed is never a huge hassle, and you praise whatever God is out there that this is the case. She snuggles into her pajamas, crawls under the covers with her stuffed rabbit, and says “G’night Dave!!!” in the sweetest tone imaginable before finally letting her starry eyes slip closed and falling asleep. You affectionately stroke her hair out of her face, and go to tuck Dirk into his bed.

When you turn off the light, and watch the stars from Casey’s night-light play on the ceiling for a few moments, it strikes you just how normal this has become for you, taking care of John’s daughter. Your face moves into a confused smile, and you close the door behind you softly before walking along the hallway to the living room, where your work desk was crammed into a corner.

You looked over your prints for your latest project, photographing Karkat’s latest expose on the inner workings of the foster care system. You were surprised he had even asked you to work with him, as the last time the two of you worked together, his then-girlfriend Kanaya had met your sister when you all went out to dinner once, and. Well. You two didn’t exactly end on a good note.

Although, from your three interactions (purely work based, of course) with him, he had revealed he was happily married to Terezi Pyrope, which, lo and behold, had been one of your best friends in high school. Small world. Well, you suppose she would be Terezi Vantas, now. Damn, that’s the weirdest thing to think about.

You and Karkat had been really good friends, always working together on projects for the newspaper. Karkat would take on some of the most depressing projects, ranging from serial killers to abandoned children, and he demanded (still demands, it turns out) that you were the only photographer who could capture the seriousness of the piece in a photo. So, lately, you had been going around the city and visiting foster homes, taking pictures of the children eating food, talking with Karkat as he interviewed them, playing outside with each other. For the most part, the foster homes were nice, but Karkat was determined. You wonder for a moment why Karkat is being so zealous about the project before you remember that Terezi was a foster child.

sh*t. Karkat really does love her.

Granted, Karkat loves everyone. Too much. He’s always been like that, really, paying too much attention to everyone else and their needs instead of focusing on himself, because he feels as if he wasn’t there to take care of his friends, no one else would do it. He took all of their problems and carried them around on his shoulders, an ox with a too-heavy yoke around his neck, dragging him down, suffocating him. That, you realize, is why he takes on these horrible projects. He feels as if he has to fix them, find justice for everyone, create a sort of equality.You shake your head, and look back at your work. Tonight is going to be a long night, trying to figure out which ones work best with Karkat’s words, creating the best emphasis on the part that needs to be emphasized most. You sigh deeply, and forge ahead.

…

EB: dave answer the door
EB: dave
EB: daaaaaaaave
EB: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave
EB: this is why you should have given me a key
EB: come on i have donuts
EB: seriously, you didn’t answer at donuts?
TG: christ john aight im comin chill
TG: just gotta put on some pants
EB: whatever come on
TG: yeah yeah

You rub your face, trying to get the sleep out of your eyes, and feel around with your feet for where you tossed your pants the previous night before collapsing on the bed and passing out. You find them after a few seconds and yank them on, walking out the door as you zip them up and button them, not bothering with a belt and letting them sag slightly. You had grabbed your sunglasses first thing, and you put them on your eyes right as you turn the doorknob and open the door to John’s smiling face. This kid is way too happy every morning, you decide.

“Good morning, Mr. Sunshine!” He laughs at you, and you scowl at him to show your annoyance.

“Do you even understand how early it is right now, Egbert? Seriously, it’s ridiculous. You’re usually later than this.” You grumble as you step aside to let him in. He steps around you, and walks straight to the kitchen; he knows this place as well as his own house, after coming here every morning for the past week. The white paint on the wall is starting to peel, you realize with disdain, and you know you’ll have to paint it soon so Dirk and Casey won’t get the brilliant idea to start eating the paint off the wall.Really, what is it with kids and eating everything they find?John places the box of donuts on the table and pulls out a chair, sitting down in it and grabbing a regularly frosted donut. You see there are two of each kind he got: iced, chocolate iced, and chocolate iced with sprinkles (which, you’re guessing, are for the kids). You get two glasses out and pour milk into both.

“I’m gonna go get the kids.” You say briefly, and he nods at you before opening the newspaper he must have grabbed on the way over here, his eyes glancing over the headlines as he takes another bite out of his donut.

When you get to the children’s bedroom, you notice Dirk already awake and quietly playing with his toys, his orange chest at the foot of his bed opened and his blankets twisted. You whisper to him that there are donuts in the kitchen, and his eyes light up at you before he dashes out of the room and down the hall, where you hear him say “Good morning Mr. John!” and you hear John reply just as enthusiastically. You walk forward to where Casey lies on her makeshift bed (a futon you had scrounged up from the cubby hole), and kneel down next to her.

“Casey, it’s time to wake up.” You whisper, and her eyes flutter slightly before opening fully and staring at you in confusion, still half-asleep.

“Hey, pretty girl. Good morning.” You smile at her, and she smiles back at you as she rubs her eyes sleepily. “Morning, Mr. Dave.” She mumbles back, and your smile grows. Damn, this kid just keeps getting cuter, doesn’t she?

“Want me to carry you to the kitchen? There’s donuts.” Her eyes open up all the way now, and you chuckle. She nods quickly, and holds her arms up to you; you sweep her up above your head, throwing her up slightly and catching her. She giggles at you, and then clings to your neck as you rest her on your hip.

“Alright, kiddo, off we go.”

John smiles at the both of you when you enter the kitchen; he is pouring Dirk and cup of milk, and Dirk is chewing away on one of the sprinkled donuts. Casey slides down your chest and walks quickly over to her father, who picks her up with ease and delivers both his daughter and Dirk’s mug to the table. You all sit down together.

sh*t, this is really f*cking domestic. And has been for the past week.

You watch John watch the kids, flicking his eyes between the two; his mouth turns down and his eyebrows scrunch together.

“What’s up?” You ask after swallowing, and he looks back to you.

“I was just thinking that I’ve been bringing sweet things every morning…” His voice trails off, and you can guess where this is going.

“Well, Rose is going to be watching them tonight, and you know how Kanaya is when it comes to feeding kids.” John nods solemnly, and you see Dirk scrunching his face as he remembers the food the Lalonde-Maryams serve. You ruffle his hair and give him a smirk.

“Yeah,” he acquiesces, “but does one night of healthy things really equal out a whole five mornings of bad things?”

“I dunno, Egbert, do two lefts make a right?”

His eyebrows scrunch together. “No? It’s still left, but you’re going the same way you were earlier.”

You pause and just. Look at him. He bristles in defense, saying “What?”

“Have you seriously never heard that phrase before?”

“No?”

You notice his eyes seem to grow a darker shade of blue when he’s confused, but that’s probably just because his eyebrows cause a shadow. Eyes can’t change color with emotion. Stupid.You just raise one of you eyebrows at him and take a judgmental sip of your milk. This guy must’ve come from a really small town.

After wrestling the kids out of their pajamas and into their day clothes (and trying to teach Dirk how to make his bed properly because you’re tired of doing it for him), the children chattering to John about their adventures the previous night (Daddy, we went out on the roof and we watched the sun set and the clouds were so pretty!!! Mr. John we played spies in the living room and I hid for like five hundred hours from Casey but she found me because she’s a really great finder!!!), he gathers Casey in his arms and sets to leave. After the second night of her staying over at your house, you had both decided to keep her things here permanently, so it was easier on you both, as John had a tendency to forget things; as such, there was nothing else for him to get as he said they said their goodbyes to Dirk and you walked him to the door.

“So I’m dropping her off at Rose’s around six, right?” He asks in the hallway, turning to you halfway as you stand in the open doorway.

“Yep, I’ll see you there.”

“Cool! See you!”

You get the strangest urge to give him a goodbye kiss when he walks brightly down the hall as Casey continues talking his ear off, the lights in the hall reflecting off of his hair and doing weird things to your stomach.

You shake your head and return to your apartment. Dirk quickly distracts you with his Lego’s, which he demands to be packed into his bag to go to Rose’s, until you remind him that Roxy already has just about every Lego set known to man and so it’s kind of redundant to take his along. He nods, and asks if he can take his dinosaurs, and then the circle of questions continues, easily tearing you away from your strange thoughts about a certain tall, dark, and handsome man you had met at a park over a month ago.

Chapter 6

Chapter Text

Your name is Rose Lalonde and, Lord, did your girlfriend (you prefer to call her wife, but as this state was still against equality, you have to bear this travesty) love children. Not that you didn’t love children, of course, you carried Roxy and gave birth to her so you and Kanaya could have a child together, but there’s a reason you only wanted one child. A very, very good reason.

And you’re looking at it right now.

Casey Egbert, Dirk Strider, Jake English, and Roxy Lalonde really do not belong in a room together all at the same time, you sigh to yourself. “Science experiments” have splattered along the walls, colored water dripping down and most likely staining the walls (Kanaya is going to be devastated, she working so hard on getting those walls just the right shade), Legos are strewn about the floor (one misstep and you’re going to be in the worst pain, you’re sure of it), stray puzzle pieces are surrounding the children’s table (granted, you shouldn’t have bought a one-thousand piece wizard puzzle, no matter how beautiful it look), and…were those gears? Must be from Dirk. You wonder why Dave allows his brother to mess about with things like that, and just rub your temples against the sound of loud giggles.

“Mommy! Mommy! Lookit!” Roxy is holding up her latest drawing to you, a bunch of scribbles in pink decorating the page, and you take it from her with a tired smile.

“That’s beautiful, sweetheart, but do you see the mess you left in the room?” You kneel down to her level, and Roxy’s eyebrows squish together as she purses her lips and stares at the walls and the floor and the table. A devious grin appears on her face.

“Nope!”

The smile on her face may or may not melt your heart every time you see it, but good God, this child is insufferable.

“Look, your experiments are staining the walls, and you left your puzzle undone, and Dirk’s robot is in pieces and just.” Oh, no. “Roxy, baby, no, you’re not in trouble hon. I just want you to understand how important it is that you clean up your messes, okay?”

Roxy looks back to you with watery eyes, rubbing the tears from her cheeks, and the other children have quieted down and are now staring at you both. Lovely.

“Mommy’s not mad?” She says quietly, almost a whisper, and you smile at her, picking her up.

“No, mommy’s not mad. We just have to clean up, okay? Your friends need to go home soon, remember?” And as if on cue, a loud shout echoes down the hallway and into the playroom, a quick “Lucy, I’m home!” followed by a “Dave, shut up so we can go out sooner.”

Well, that is certainly enough to garner your attention.

“Holy sh*t, what happened in here? Roxy, did you finally set off that nuclear explosion or somethin’?” Dave appears at the doorway, and John is behind him; the latter smacks the formers arm, berating him for his language. Dave just chuckles at him, and John smiles back.

“Dad, you’re here!” A shout comes from the other side of the room, and Casey barrels into her father, who lets out an “oof” at the contact.

“Yes, yes, sweetie, daddy got out of class early today because Davey and I have a big surprise for you and Dirk.” Casey’s eyes grow so wide you’re afraid for her health, but the sentence grabs your attention.

“Oh, what sort of surprise?” You ask him with a slight grin, squinting your eyes slightly as you attempt to guess the mystery. Dave answers for John as he gathers Dirk’s gears into Dirk’s small backpack (Casey always came without toys, for which you were grateful).

“We’re taking ‘em out to the movies. Right, Dirk?” Dave picks Dirk up quickly, under his armpits, and swings him into the air, clearly relishing the sound of Dirk’s laughter and claps. When Dirk is settled onto Dave’s hips, and Dirk’s bag is slung over Dave’s shoulder, Dave picks Jake up from where he had been pouting from lack of attention.

John’s voice distracts you from the adorable scene.

“Thanks for watching Casey today, Rose, it was a huge help for Jade and Tavros. Jade’s really sorry she can’t get Jake sooner, too, but she said she already told you what time she was getting him, right?” You nod to him, and he smiles brightly. “Great! But come on, Dave the movie starts in an hour and we need to get the kids something to eat.” John is already walking out the door when Dave sets Jake down and Dirk says his goodbyes to the two other children in the room.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, princess.” He calls to John as he hurries to follow.

They really are interesting, you think to yourself.

“Come on, Rox, we need to start cleaning this place up.”

“But mommy!”

…

When Jake has been picked up (by a very apologetic Jade, but her husband’s newest protégé was hosting a party for his album release, and Jade had to go for good press for her husband, so it wasn’t like Rose could say no) and Roxy is fast asleep, you lay down beside Kanaya.

“Have you noticed anything odd about Dave and John lately?” Kanaya asks you from the bathroom, where she is currently undressing and putting her earrings away in her jewelry box.

“Well, yes, I have. They seem to be awfully close, and it’s only a matter of time before the other shoe drops, in my opinion. John practically sleeps over at his house every day now, even though he claims it’s only because it’s easier on Casey to have her father with her.” You both chuckle at that, as you both know it’s far, far more than that.

“I think Dave’s finally starting to come around, though. He was talking to me earlier today and mentioned something about wanting to meet John’s family, because he knows this will be the first year without his father and so wants John to stay with the rest of his family.” Kanaya drapes herself in a sleeping gown and lays down beside you.

“And Dave is insisting on tagging along? Oh, dear, we are in trouble.” You grin to yourself at the joke, but Kanaya is nonplussed.

“Are you really quoting Filch in bed? Really, Rose?” You chortle slightly and kiss her, sweetly.

“Well, you know I’ve always had a penchant for Squibs, my dear.” Kanaya groans and flops down, facing away from you.

“I quit with you.” She murmurs, and you chuckle again, and kiss her shoulder.

“Goodnight, Kanaya.”

“Goodnight, Rose.”